I’ve done a lot of research on women’s friendships and how people may most successfully sustain positive relationships over time. But in a recent study, we investigated the needs that women, ranging in age from 18 to 75, have for the males in their life. Unsurprisingly, the characteristics that women look for in friends and in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and males in general, are very similar. It makes sense that some fundamental, practical qualities are the foundation of any successful partnership.
Finding love is easier than ever in the era of online dating. It can be as easy as answering a compatibility questionnaire or, if you prefer, swiping right. However, online profiles don’t always give the whole picture, and meeting someone you connected with online can result in some unexpected revelations. Knowing the person behind the profile is a crucial first step, and before deciding whether or not to commit to someone, you must understand what you’re genuinely looking for in a partner as well as what they are looking for in a partner.
According to certified psychotherapist Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., “Any healthy relationship is built on certain basic, down-to-earth elements.” While physical attractiveness and sexual chemistry are some of the early signs of compatibility, there are certain more important qualities that women must have in the guy they intend to spend the rest of their life with—qualities that are less likely to deteriorate with time.
Although no two women are the same, we’ve compiled eight characteristics that experts suggest every woman wants in a man. If you need some advice, continue reading.
A woman finds it highly attractive when a man has confidence in himself, is aware of who he is, and knows what he wants. Usually, she can tell this just by his attitude.
Being self-assured entails being at ease with who you are, having faith in your abilities, and knowing that you are someone who is worth spending time getting to know. As long as a man’s confidence does not overstep into egotism, women react to the happy and positive energy he projects into the world. Men who don’t feel the need to compete with or downplay others in order to elevate themselves will have a much easier time attracting women.
A woman finds a man to be immediately more attractive and desirable when he is trustworthy and honest. He’s a guy worth pursuing if he’s dependable, honest, sincere, and talks from the heart since others can trust him. According to Degges-White, “Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen.” After all, a woman has to feel certain that she can rely on her guy in order for their relationship to endure for a long time, just as he should be able to rely on her.
Integrity is the quality of carrying out righteous deeds and possessing a high moral code. Women are drawn to honest, ethical, and fair guys. In terms of relationships, having integrity can help a man and woman become closer since it will help him live up to his moral principles and be the best partner he can be. Bonus points if a man can treat people with justice and kindness and maintain his integrity outside of their romantic relationship.
When it comes to luring women, a man who is sympathetic and sensitive has an advantage. Women want a man they feel comfortable confiding in, whether it’s about a difficult day at work or their deepest dreams and worries. Empathy is the capacity to comprehend another person’s perspective and to empathize with the difficulties they are facing. Women are very attracted to males who have the capacity and desire to demonstrate compassion and care for others.
Women prefer a man who is open and emotionally honest over one who is distant and emotionally unavailable. In order to forge a long-lasting connection, it’s critical to be able to fully and openly communicate your sentiments, even if it initially seems unusual or difficult to do so. Women favor a man who isn’t scared to express his actual emotions and talk about them openly over one who holds everything inside. And certainly, there are instances when doing this entails discussing prior relationships and opening up about your past.
Both parties must respect one another for the relationship to be successful, joyful, and healthy. A woman is likely to break up with a man to prevent a shattered heart if she feels unappreciated, disposable, or poorly treated by him. According to Degges-White, “a relationship is likely to fail sooner rather than later when a person feels disrespected or patronized.” A man who shows a lady care and the respect she merits will have her attention more.
The ability to laugh
Women are attracted to men who can have fun, joke about, and have a good sense of humor. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian or a comedy writer to attract women. According to Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, “When two individuals are laughing at the same thing, they are effectively saying, ‘I share your perspective, your values, and I surely share what you think is hilarious. According to Hall’s research on the connection between humor and romance, a woman was more likely to express romantic interest in a man the more times he tried to be funny and the more times she laughed at his jokes. 1 It goes without saying that a man who radiates joy, laughter, and positivity will compel women to be in his presence.
If any of the aforementioned characteristics describe you, you probably already have maturity down pat. It’s crucial to demonstrate to a woman that you are not just emotionally mature and able to maintain open lines of communication, but that you are also mentally mature and capable of acting like an adult when the situation calls for it. This can be demonstrated by responding calmly, avoiding emotional outbursts, and working together to find solutions after careful deliberation. That’s not to say you can’t have fun and act foolish with each other; in fact, letting your vulnerability shine through is a sign of maturity in and of itself.
Particularly for Romantic Partners
Women don’t require partners who expend all of their effort attempting to demonstrate how heroic, powerful, strong, or masculine they are. They merely want guys who are prepared to meet them where they are, treat them decently, and have the ability to maintain the romantic flame.
It is impossible to determine with any degree of accuracy if a potential partner will be a suitable fit for you; no dating site algorithm can forecast the human heart. Even if a possible partner possesses every one of the criteria listed below, there is no assurance that you two will click or that you will cross paths at the ideal moment for either of you to start a new relationship. However, identifying what we know we need from the significant others in our life raises our “relationship quotient,” allowing us to at least be aware of areas deserving of improvement before forging a new romantic engagement.
There are three distinct qualities that women seem to value and need most in a man: moral integrity (from all men), relational sensitivity (from friends and partners), and gratifying closeness (from romantic partners).
Moral Integrity Characteristics
Respect for one another is an all or nothing situation. All bets are off if a person stops respecting a relationship. The same respect that males show other men should be shown to women. Relationships are more likely to break down quickly when one party feels patronized or disrespected. In love relationships, respect should always be maintained, even if you are upset or unhappy with your spouse.
- It’s crucial to have regular, tactful, and open communication. When communication is open and honest, relationships prosper.
- Don’t give someone a reason to question you; honesty is another quality that can create or break a relationship.
- Relationships can develop because of trust and reliability.
- accepting accountability for one’s deeds and behavior. Strong levels of maturity are necessary for long-lasting healthy relationships. Without it, conflicts and disagreements intensify as partners play the “blame game.” If there is a breakdown in communication, emotional harm may be done that cannot be easily restored.
Relational sensitivity characteristics
- Men must be kind, patient, understanding, empathic, and compassionate toward women. Men and women should be considerate of each other’s feelings in all kinds of relationships. Recognize that a partner’s struggles matter to her and that partners’ responsibilities include cherishing, caring for, and considering one another.
- Male and female friendships are also desired. Being your partner’s friend entails treating her with the same tolerance and acceptance as you would other close friends.
- Emotional intelligence is crucial. When it’s appropriate, it’s acceptable to engage in some childish play, but it’s crucial that both women and men act maturely when the situation calls for it. In order to preserve healthy communication and connection, it is also vital to understand that physical prowess does not equate intelligence. Before forcing your partner to give a forced answer, it’s sometimes preferable to take a step back and consider the situation.
- Supporting the women in your life can be really beneficial. The most important function is to support your partner. Be present to help in tiny and large ways when your partner or a friend needs emotional or practical support. Make your presence constructive and encouraging, whether it be by taking the time to listen or by becoming more actively involved in important decisions, child raising, economics, etc.
- It’s crucial to be sensitive and to validate your partner’s experiences. Based on gender identification, adult cultural experiences differ substantially. Recognize your own prejudices in how you perceive other women, and consider how a society that devalues women might affect your spouse. When she recounts instances of prejudice, discrimination, or unjust treatment, don’t assume that she is making things up. Gender roles shape behavior; men and women both stand to gain by helping to eliminate damaging gender roles at home and at work. Women shouldn’t have to clear a bigger hurdle to succeed; they should be given the same benefits for making the same commitment as men. A person’s gender shouldn’t be an advantage in a partnership or at work.
Types of Satisfying Intimacy With Romantic Partners
- In safe and pleasant ways, infuse the relationship with adventure and excitement. Confront your partner’s viewpoints while allowing your own to be contended with. As you create a safe and inviting environment for your spouse to do the same, be willing to open yourself up to new experiences and ways of thinking. The stimulation of the mind keeps relationships lively.
- Together with friendship, companionship and collaboration are the glue that keeps most long-term partnerships going strong. Nobody anticipates how little energy they may have for sexual activities once children are born, longer workdays at the office, the onset of illness or a disability; there will be times when the two of you will need each other most for devoted companionship.
- The words “I love you” might be extremely emotional, therefore saying them may not be simple. Sadly, some individuals think that uttering them puts them more open to harm. But your mate deserves to know how much you adore them. If you can’t express your love to your girlfriend verbally, make sure you still show her what matters to her the most. We all want to experience love.
- In terms of sex, women urge that men refrain from making everything about it, i.e., refrain from doing things in the hopes of receiving sexual favours in return. You shouldn’t only think of your good behaviour as a means to an end. A potentially romantic encounter becomes more of a commercial transaction when you expect sex as a reward for accomplishing something that pleases your spouse. Good sex cannot be bought. Women who want to feel like they owe their partner sex are few and far between.
- Your partners require you to engage in sexual acts that are focused on them, not simply on yourself. Instead of merely being a rehash of the same old, same old, having sex should be an exciting experience that allows partners to explore and deepen their sexual relationship. Men need to give up the misconception that women are sexually pure once and for all because, with the appropriate partner, women enjoy sex just as much as men do.
What Everyone Deserves
Males must be feminist supporters who want the success of the women in their life as much as they want to enjoy their own success. Women need men to be such men. Men should take the time to appreciate a woman’s qualities and respect what she offers their relationship. Women desire the same things that men desire in a romantic relationship; they may just prioritise those desires differently.