How to Practice Self-Love & Be Good to Yourself

The concept of spirituality is a rather interesting one. While some turn to the God of old and shun everything else, others seek more modern ways which exclude God. Not surprisingly, this has begged the question: can the two ever go together? That is to say, is it possible to believe in (and serve) God truly and passionately while being open to more modern spiritual theories such as self-love? Well, gospel singer Deborah Enenche is proof that the two can indeed go together. Yes, you can love God and still be absolutely in love with yourself. Also Read: –6 Unique Bridal Outfit Ideas For Every Contemporary Wedding 2023 When I first reached out to DeBee (as she loves to be addressed), it was her daring fashion sense that caught my attention. Her style, I think, is where avant-garde collides with timelessness for a look that’s edgy yet still manages to be relevant. No jokes, this lawyer’s style will work season after season, decade after decade, without ever being boring! However, as I began to research for this piece, my admiration for her transcended style into Deborah Enenche, the person. This young lady wears many hats: lawyer, gospel singer, creative director of one of the biggest ministries on the African continent, Christian influencer…the list is endless! Regardless of all these, she maintains a humble disposition as though all her accomplishments mean nothing. Maybe that’s the life you lead when your roots stay anchored in God and your heart unapologetically loves all of who you are. I hope you enjoy this SR Exclusive interview with Deborah Enenche as I have enjoyed chatting with her and writing this piece.

Here’s what Deborah Enenche revealed to Style Rave.

Tell us a bit about yourself. Who is Deborah Enenche?

So, a little bit about me. I’m DeBee. I’m 26 (will be 27 in March) but in reality, I’m just an adult-sized toddler. Or in Zillennial speak, I’m baby. I am brimming with innocence and youth, full of exuberance for life. Interestingly, I tend to be a bit more reserved despite the persona I portray online. However, I am a lot of fun once you get to know me better. Also, I am a lover of nature and animals. I’m vegan and have a cat. He’s getting so fat these days. I love to spend time with God — I’m usually on my own with him. If I’m not doing that, I’m binging shows online or reading a good book. Media is the next frontier of education in my opinion. My work keeps me really busy so I cherish moments I get to be by myself and relish God and learn things.

You’re not only a talented music minister but also serve as the Creative Director of Dunamis International Gospel Centre, Abuja. As creative director, what does a day in your life look like?

Being a creative is a dubious thing. You work twice as hard as the average person but seem to do far too little. Or perhaps this is just my way of justifying being a glorified jobless person. I joke. (Laughs hysterically.) I really love my job. I get to be whacky and whimsical for a living. All the quirkiness and the absurdity that alienated me in my adolescence is what sets me apart now. A day in my life is pretty simple. I tend to spend most of it remotely. I do my research on new social media trends; part of my job description is social media management. Bi-weekly, I take photographs of dad for his social media accounts. Then, I monitor the engagement to see what works per post. I also am involved in the creative direction of the church, whether visually or aesthetically, as much as the room is given to do so. This includes set designs, altar decor, our television station, and other such old media. In the event of music video shoots and photographic content, I oversee the direction it goes and makes adjustments as needed. It’s an exciting endeavor.

You are a lawyer by training, a music minister by calling, and also a creative director. How do you manage all these roles without burning out?

My parents are the case study of Jack of all Trades and Master of all. I am always in awe at how they manage to do so much and still have time for family and personal lives. I have a fraction of the grace. However, I do my best to make everything a fun little game so I never feel overwhelmed or bored. I enjoy the mundanities of every activity. I find that’s where the magic of being alive is — in the little things. Plus, it means I manage to lead a rather exciting life. I know this is cliché, but when you do what you love, you never really work. Music, art, and intellectual stimulation are really the things I enjoy most in life.

Your style is different and bold, especially for a music minster. It’s safe to say that you’ve unapologetically embraced yourself. How were you able to come into your own?

I’ve always been eccentric. I’ve tried to fit in. I truly have. It doesn’t work as I still stick out like a sore thumb. So I’ve decided to decorate the said thumb and make it my own thing. A weird analogy, I bet. But that’s kind of how my brain works. I don’t just think out of the box. I tend to recycle, repurpose and repackage the said box. I am finally comfortable with being an individual. Truthfully, it used to irk me. Until I came to not only realize but also accept that God has created me singularly and utterly uniquely. It’s not always been easy walking in this realization, especially in a particularly conservative sector like the one I find myself in. I do feel very blessed and honoured, though. I’m grateful to be the example young people can see as to how being expressive and different is both cool and can also be Godly when done to glorify Him.

Where do you draw your style inspiration?

Vintage style is all the rave now. It tends to be with younger people, I suppose. Maybe an intrigue in the time before theirs, a fascination with predecessors. I am guilty of this! I have always been enthralled with classic style. Old Hollywood, the 60s, and Twiggy were what I idolized in high school. Then, I got into the University and stumbled on the steampunk subculture and suddenly, the goth in me could reconcile with my inner Audrey Hepburn. All in all, I love the oldies and I think it’s a subtle theme running through my style. Also, I was raised in a home where we had to be prim, proper, and decent with an overall peculiar sensibility. I adore cinema (and don’t get me started on animation) and find it so interesting how much one can associate you with a character simply from how you’re dressed. So, I have ended up having this almost-comical-but-altogether-elegant-vibe to my aesthetic. My parents always look like they could have a meeting with a president, I try to emulate that. As dad always says “dress how you want to be addressed.”

You recently hosted a Consciousness Picnic with avant-garde as the style theme — what would you say living consciously means to you?

That picnic is one of the most phenomenal things to have happened in my life thus far. I was blown away by the turnout and more importantly how people enjoyed it. The dress theme was inspired by my personal aesthetic as well as allowing for others to come as fun and free as they’d like. The picnic itself was an experiment in the theme of the EP it was named after. We’ve been cultured to value busy work over being present. This overflows into how many people interact with God. It’s very focused on the activity instead of intimacy. I had been a victim of that for the longest time then I hit a stumbling block and suddenly all the stuff I was doing for God wasn’t enough to make me feel Him. After a bit of turbulence and a re-acquaintance with God, I came to the realization that being in a relationship with God was less about how much I was doing but about how I was experiencing and being with God. Think of it like the Mary/Martha paradox (as seen in Luke 10:38-42). You do for those you love. If there’s no real love, it becomes nothing but a job/chore/bore. This epiphany heralded the EP “Consciousness.” My favourite Bible scripture is Psalms 46:10a: “Be still and know that I am God.” I could write a whole sermon on that. But simply put, this scripture has changed my life. Stillness enables knowledge of God. Who is the creator of all things? Knowing him means universal insight. Okay, I’ll stop now. (chuckles.) Based on all these, the picnic was an avenue for others to experience Abba like I’d started to. Many are used to concerts and the formality of church services to acquaint themselves with Abba, but I wanted people to realize they can connect with God while doing the most mundane activity. The real requirement is not a formality, but stillness.

Let’s talk about your music a bit. Your song, ‘Even If You Slay Me’ has a soothing sound and deep lyrics. What inspires your music?

My music is inspired by my life and walk with God. I firmly believe that incredible experiences make incredible people and incredible people tend to make incredible art. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. I find solace in speaking to God about them and often out of these talks come music that first and foremost soothes me, and then others. I am often crippled by the fear that I am a poor songwriter so I rarely ever sit to “write” a song. Most of the music that has come to me has quite literally “come to me.” God inspires, I follow and a voice note and some scribbles later, something remarkable shows up. “Even if you slay me” actually came from such a place. Despite how heavy the words are, at the moment they came, I wasn’t really in any real emotional turmoil. I believe the spirit of God dropped it in my heart for the future to come. I got it in my early teens but it wasn’t until young adulthood that the words started to sink in and really have personal relevance. I am currently placing myself in such a place again to receive such life-changing music. It’s a wonderful thing to be inspired and I always look forward to it and what comes from that place.

From your music to your style, self-acceptance seems to be a message you preach. In your own words, what is self-acceptance and why is it important?

Self-acceptance is rooted in self-love which, I personally feel, can’t happen without love for God because God is love. I’ve come to truly love me because the one who made me is perfect and makes no mistakes. I’ve had to have a real journey with this and I’m still on it daily. Being a bit of anomaly has been something that followed me like a shadow for far too long, then I realized I am light and I am not to be hidden. The things that make me weird are the best things about me. As long as I am striving daily in my walk with God to be in line with His precepts and word, I owe no one any apologies for who and how I am. And trust me, I’ve spent much of my life apologizing. Even now still, I am working on doing it for less. It’s not a crime to occupy space. I matter. I am matter. The matter has weight and occupies space. Every inch of this world that God has allocated to me will be lived in intensely and radically.

That’s deep. So, what would you say are the three pillars of self-acceptance that every young person should know?

I am of the opinion that self-acceptance lies in these three things: self-awareness, self-accountability, and self-love. Being aware of who you are is so key. We’re encouraged to be clones of clones in a world that benefits from our uniformity. It’s easier to control a herd. Once you know who you really are, you become a little dangerous. And that’s no good for those who’d rather you didn’t know your power. Self-accountability (I probably just coined this) is taking stock and inventory of your actions and how they affect others and most importantly, yourself. If you’re willing to be brutally honest about the trajectory of your behaviour, you’re accepting yourself. More so, you know how to go about being able to fix faults where they are and how you move forward. This is necessary because many can’t accept themselves or love themselves because they don’t really like who they are. Once you’re conversant with who you are and take responsibility, you can fix the parts of you that are broken so you’re more likely to accept the version of you you’re becoming. Finally, and most importantly, is self-love. This is not to be thought of as selfishness or conceit. This is the simple innate knowledge of how perfectly-perfect your imperfection is, and how you’re made perfect in your weaknesses by Love Himself. As I earlier mentioned, knowing and loving God helps you to know and love yourself. And once you’re loving yourself, you can love others too.

Where do you see the Deborah Enenche brand in 5 years?

Interestingly enough, I read a post by one of my favourite influencers today, Salem King, and he spoke about how vocalizing your plans sometimes weakens your intentions and motivations to do them. This is profoundly true for me. I mean, I’m even handing in the answers to this interview three weeks late despite saying to anyone who cared to listen that I would have it in the minute I got it. (I’m laughing over here). I am not afraid of the figurative village people (bad juju) seeing my plans and thwarting them. I am more afraid of me letting myself down. So I’ll decline to share my plans. Also, as I am coming to learn, I must stay extremely flexible to the waves of life and God’s direction. He is leading daily and I’d be remiss to make concrete plans when His will inevitably prevail. But for those itching to know a skeleton of my desired results for a few years, I want world domination. (I’m laughing again). But really, I believe I have something to say and the world needs to hear it. I also want to be instrumental in the spread of God’s light and joy across the globe. I think that says enough. Let’s see how the next few years go.